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Poems & Stories

Gum

When Colin had five dollars, he went down to the Northern Store and said “I want some chewing gum. I want lots of chewing gum.”

“Well” said the man, “for five dollars the most chewing gum that you can buy is the kind that comes in a roll, sort of like tape.”

“Right” said Colin, “ I want some of that kind”.

So the man gave him a roll of chewing gum and Colin said “That’s not enough. Don’t you have any that comes in a bigger roll?”

“I do” said the man, “but it takes terrible. It’s called ‘Grubble, Bubble BumGum’ and nobody likes it”.

“I don’t care” said Colin, “I just want a lot of gum. Give me a lot of gum”.

So the man gave Colin an enormous roll of ‘Grubble, Bubble BumGum’.

Colin unrolled the gum and put it into his mouth. His cheeks got bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger until his head looked like a balloon.

He walked into the house and his mother said “Colin, what is the matter with your head?”

“Iwmmm whoong gblum” said Colin.

“Colin” said the Mom, “open your mouth.”

Colin opened his mouth and his mother said “Chewing gum! I won’t have that chewing gum at the table. Colin, you have to take it out during dinner”.

“Bwho Kahy” said Colin.

So at dinnertime Colin took out the chewing gum and put it on the wall beside his bed, and after he was done eating dinner he came back and put it in his mouth.

At bedtime the mother said “Colin, you have been chewing that gum all day. All day Colin! Your head looks like a balloon. Don’t chew it in bed.”

Colin took it out and put it on the wall beside his bed.

“Good” said the mom. “No chewing gum at night”.

As soon as his Mom and Dad kissed him and went out of the room, Colin put that chewing gum back in his mouth and started chewing. He was just going to chew it for awhile, and he didn’t mean to go to sleep, but he did. He fell asleep with the chewing gum in his mouth.

P> In the morning he woke up with his hands all stuck to the chewing gum that was all over his face and in his mouth. “Grrubbl Biggel Slumm Blumm” said Colin.

His little sister, Lisa, came running in, jumped on him and got stuck in the gum.

His little brother Dennis came running in, jumped on him and got stuck in the gum and stuck to Colin. All three yelled ‘Help! Help! Help! Help!”

The Dad came running in and said “What a mess!”

He grabbed Lisa and then the dad was stuck to Lisa who was stuck to everyone else..

The mother came and said ‘Oh No!”. But she had an idea.

She told the Dad to stand up and run outside.

It was 30 Below zero.

“Wow” said the Dad. ‘It’s cold”.

“Wow” said Lisa. “It’s cold”.

“Wow” said Dennis. “It’s cold”.

“Gggrrruuu uuubbb wwwaaaa” said Colin.

“Go out anyway” said the Mommy.

Well it was so cold that the gum got hard.

Lisa started to shiver, the gum broke and she fell off.

Dennis started to shiver, the gum broke and he fell off.

The Dad started to shiver, the gum broke, and he fell off.

Then there was just Colin, all covered in gum.

The Mom let him shiver for a long, long time until the gum got really hard, and then she hit him on the head with the hammer.

“POW!”

All the gum broke into little pieces and fell down into the snow.

“My gum” said Colin. “I need more gum”.

“Yes you do” said the Mother.

So Colin and his mother went to the Northern Store and his mother said “I want some chewing gum. I want lots of chewing gum. I want the kind that comes in a roll.”

So the man gave her a roll of chewing gum and she said “That’s not enough. Don’t you have any that comes in a bigger roll?”

“I do” said the man, “but it tastes terrible. It’s called ‘Grubble Bubble BumGum’. Nobody likes it”.

“I don’t care” said the mom, “I just want a lot of gum. Give me a lot of gum”.

So the man gave her an enormous roll of ‘Grubble, Bubble BumGum’.

“Still not enough” said the mom.

“Well”, said the man, there is one roll that is bigger, but it tastes really, really terrible. It is ‘Double Bubble, Double Grubble, Bubble GumBum, Gum’.”

“Great” said the mom, “I will take two rolls.”

The he man gave her two rolls and the mom gave them to Colin and said, “Chew this.”

So, on the way home, Colin chewed both rolls of ‘Double Bubble, Double Grubble, Bubble Gum Bum, Gum’. His head looked like a balloon by the time he got home.

Then the mom said, “Colin, spit out that gum.”

Colin spit it out. He did not mind at all because it turned out that ‘Double Bubble, Double Grubble, Bubble Gum Bum, Gum’ tasted like a dead rat. Then the mom took that tremendous was of gum and stuck it to Colin’s back and then she stuck Colin to the wall just above the sofa in the living room.

Colin stayed there all day and slept there at night. The next morning he said, “I would like just one stick of gum.”

“Wonderful” said his dad, and he tried to pull Colin off the wall.

Unfortunately, ‘Double Bubble, Double Grubble, Bubble Gum Bum, Gum’ is very sticky and the dad had to get Quenton and Aurora and Brian and Cameron and Tyson and Liza and Dennis to help. And once Colin was off the wall, the dad took everyone to the Northern Store and got everyone one, and just one, stick of chewing gum.