When Alycia came to the hospital for the first time, the nurse stuck a pin in her finger.
“OUCH!” yelled Alycia.
“Yes” said the nurse “That did hurt, but now we have a NEW THING that we do at this hospital! You get a bravery bead” and she gave Alycia a string with a purple bead on it.
“The beads will keep track of all the things that happen to you” said the nurse.
“Neat” said Alycia
“There is a different bead for everything that happens, so there are lots and lots of different beads”
“This is wonderful!” said Alycia “How about you stick my fingers 20 times so I can get 20 purple beads?”
“HA!” said the nurse “It is not a game. It has to be something you need done. Just wait, you will get lots of beads.”
Well, Alycia did get lots of beads. She kept then on a long string on her IV stand.
She got beads for blood tests, x-rays, and IVs and echocardiograms and Chemotherapy and Physiotherapy and lots of other weird stuff.
Of all the things she had to do, Alycia really did not like IVs.
“LOOK” said the nurse “We take these bags of stuff and we drip them into plastic tubes and then we drip it into you through needle in your arm.”
“NEEDLE!” yelled Alycia “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” “How about I just drink the stuff?”
“It doesn’t work if you drink it” said the nurse.
So the nurse stuck a needle into Alycia’s arm and then she hung up 5 bags of strange stuff.
“I want a really big bravery bead for this” said Alycia.
“Definitely” said the nurse.
“And what’s the stuff like water?” said Alycia
“It’s water” said the nurse
“This is weird” said Alycia “I am drinking water through my arm!”
So Alycia was stuck in bed because of all the stuff dripping into her.
The next day when the nurse came in Alycia said, “I have been lying here and I can’t move. I look like a fish tank with all these tubes going into me!”
“There is red stuff.”
“There is blue stuff.”
“There is water stuff.”
“There is green stuff.”
“There is black stuff.”
“I know”, said the nurse, “It is hard to lay there and not do anything, but we have to get all that stuff into you.”
“I want it to be more fun” said Alycia
“Well”, said the nurse, “How about you watch TV?”
“NO!” said Alycia, “How about you could change the bags the drippy stuff comes in! The beads beside my bed look really nice, but the bags of drippy stuff beside my bed are gross.
“Change the bags? said the nurse.
“Yes!” said Alycia, “Change them to Root Beer bottles and Ginger Ale bottles and Orange Soda bottles!”
“HA!” said the nurse, “If I dripped ginger ale right into your arm it would kill you. You can’t use ginger ale that way.”
“YOU DO NOT GET IT!” said Alycia, “Don’t change what drips into me. Just change what it comes in. Like put the green stuff into a ginger ale bottle.”
“That is against the rules”, said the nurse.
“It will make me happy.” said Alycia, “And if I am happy that might make me feel better and if I feel better I might get better.”
“Hummmmm”, said the nurse, “I will try it with the new black stuff and see how it works.”
So the nurse took the black stuff and put it into a ginger ale bottle and hung it by Alycia’s bed.
“What’s the black stuff for?” said Alycia
“Well” said the nurse “It kills your cancer but it also makes you feel terrible and it makes your hair fall out.”
“Great!” said Alycia “Maybe it is also good for killing rats?”
“HA!” said the nurse.
Just then a doctor walked in and said, “AHHHHHHHHH! This kid is going to die from ginger ale! You can’t put ginger ale into a kid through a needle!”
“Relax”, said Alycia, “It is just a ginger ale bottle. The stuff inside is medicine.”
“HA!” said the doctor.
“Is so medicine” said Alycia.
“HA!” said the doctor, and he grabbed the ginger ale bottle and took a drink.
“GWACKXXH!” said the doctor “That is the worst ginger ale I have ever tasted.”
“Ha!” said Alycia “That is yucky black medicine and it makes your hair fall out and I think it also kills rats.”
And then the doctor’s hair exploded off his head: FWHOOOM!
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” yelled the doctor, and the nurse gave him a purple wig.
And Alycia laughed so much that the nurse used soda bottles for all the rest of the kids at the hospital.