Moose

My name is Jean-Marie and I am seventeen years old. I am writing in regards to one of the stories you told at your show in Sherwood Park, Alberta. It was not one that I knew – it was about a little kid who finds a moose in his backyard. I absolutely adored that story! I was hoping to find that it was one of you newer books, but unfortunately, it was not so. I was really quite disappointed. You see. I live on an acreage just outside of Sherwood Park, and we actually do get moose in our backyard. They’ll wonder through and grab a bite off a tree or to and sometimes even lie down in the middle of the yard for a nap. It is really neat! It is not something many people can boast about. Six Halloweens ago, a moose wandered across the lawn while I was getting into my ‘bat’ costume. It was during a time when I was really interested in taking pictures and I decided that I wanted a picture of this moose – CLOSE UP! So in my lovely bat costume, I grabbed a camera and took off outside. I did not realize that chasing a full grown moose across my lawn was, perhaps, not brilliant. My family stayed inside, watching from the living room window, and took a picture of me chasing the moose. So you can see why your story appealed so much to me, and why I was hoping to find it in published form. It it is ever published, I will be the first person in line to buy it.

For Michael in Geraldton, Ontario, whose dad shoots a moose each year for the family to eat.

One Saturday Michael woke up very early and walked into his backyard. There, standing in the middle of the yard; was a large, enormous moose. Michael looked at that animal and yelled, “MOOOOSE!”; and ran upstairs to wake up his father.

His father was asleep like this: ZZZZZ, ZZZZZ, ZZZZZ, ZZZZZ.

Michael said very quietly,

“DADDY”.

He didn’t wake up.

Michael said a little louder,

“DAAADDY!”.

He still didn’t wake up.

Michael yelled as loud as she could,

“DAAAAAAADDY!”.

He still didn’t wake up; so Michael took off his shoe and wapped his father on the head. He jumped out of bed and yelled, “What’s the matter? What’s the matter? What’s the matter?”.

“In our back yard”, said Michael, “there is a large, enormous MOOSE”.

“This is crazy”, said the father, “There are no moose in our back yard”. But he got dressed, opened up the back door, stepped outside, rubbed his eyes, opened them up and yelled, “MOOOOSE!”.

Well, that frightened the moose and it jumped right up in the air and came down on top Michael’s father.

Michael decided to go get his mother.

Her mother was asleep like this: ZZZZZ, ZZZZZ, ZZZZZ, ZZZZZ.

Michael said very quietly,

“MOMMY!”.

She didn’t wake up.

Michael said a little louder,

“MOMMY!”.

She still didn’t wake up.

Michael yelled as loud as he could,

“MOOOMMY!”.

She still didn’t wake up; so Michael took off his shoe and waped his mother on the head. She jumped out of bed and yelled, “What’s the matter. What’s the matter. What’s the matter”.

“In our back yard”, said Michael, “there is a large,enormous MOOSE”.

“Don’t be ridiculous”, said the mother, “There are no moose in our back yard”. Nevertheless, she got dressed, opened up the back door, stepped outside, rubbed her eyes, opened them up and yelled, “MOOSE!”.

Well, that frightened the moose and it jumped right up in the air and came down on Michael’s mother.

Michael sat down and thought for a while and then he got an idea. He ran into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator and got out three big orange carrots. He held them out the door and said, “Here moosie, moosie, moosie”.

The moose came over and smelled one carrot, “Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff”. It ate the carrot.

Michael said, “I think I like this moose”.

The moose ate another carrot and Michael said, “I wanna keep him for a pet”. The moose ate another carrot and Michael said, “He can live in my bedroom”.

Just then his father lifted up his head and said, “Michael, get me my gun”.

“Oh”, said Michael, “Do you mean your little gun for shooting birdies?”.

“NO!”

“Do you mean your medium sized gun for shooting bunny rabbits?”

“NNNNO!”.

“You don’t mean your great big gun for shooting cute moosies?”.

“YES!”.

So Michael went inside and got the gun off the wall. He said, “I know what my father wants to do with this gun. He wants to shoot that cute moose all full of holes. I will get him the gun but I will not tell him that it does not have any bullets!”.

Michael gave the gun to his father. The father pointed it at the moose and pulled the trigger. The gun went, “click”.

What’s the matter with this gun”, said the father. “Guns are supposed to go BANG, not CLICK!” He shook the gun and pointed it at the moose again. He pulled the trigger and the gun went “CLICK”.

The moose heard that click. It turned around, saw the father holding the gun and yelled, “HUNTER!”.

Then it ran into the kitchen, took all the carrots out of the refrigerator, ran out the front door and never came back.

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