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I stayed with their Helen and Megan's family in Fort McMurray during March 1996. Fort McMurray has lots of bugs in spring. It is way at the end of a dead end road in Northern Alberta. It is in the middle of the Black Spruce forest the covers almost all of Northern Canada up to where the tundra starts.

Helen got up very early one morning, looked out the window and said, “NO SNOW! THE SNOW IS ALL GONE! I JUST LOVE SPRINGTIME!!!!!!!”

She opened the front door and heard “Nnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeee.”

“Oh no!” said Helen” It’s the mosquitoes! It’s the blackflies!. They’ve here! “AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” And she ran and hid under her bed. Then Helen got an idea. “I think” she said “That I will test out how bad the bugs really are.”

So she ran to her sister and said “Megan, could you run outside and tell me how cold it is?”

“Well” said Megan, “I guess I can, but I get to watch the TV show I want after dinner.”

“No Problem” said Helen.

So Megan opened up the front door and ran outside in her pyjamas.

Sixty-five gazillion black flies and mosquitoes landed on her! Megan yelled “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

The sixty-five gazillion black flies and mosquitoes picked Helen up and carried her across the road to the Black Spruce Forest.

“Oh dear” said Helen “These bugs are worse than I thought.”

Just then the daddy came downstairs and said “Where’s Megan?”

“Well” said Helen, “I think Megan is over in the woods in her pajamas”.

“In her pajamas!” yelled Helen’s father. “I’m going to go get her right now”; and he ran out the door in HIS pajamas .

Helen said “I don’t think that’s a good idea”. But the daddy didn’t listen and sixty-five gazillion mosquitoes and blackflies jumped on him, took him up in the air and carried him screaming across the road into the Black Spruce Forest.

“Good heavens” said Helen, “I have to do something.”

So she went out to the garage and looked for bug spray.

She found one bottle of spray and gave a little spritz and said “YECHHH!, – not strong enough”.

She got another one and gave it a little spritz; and said, “YECHHH! – GLACK! – Not strong enough”.

She found another one, give a spritz and said, “YECHHH! – GLACK! – GLUBAHHH! – that’s strong enough”.

Then Helen ran across the street into the woods, spraying the bug spray in front of her. She came to an enormous pile of black flies and mosquitoes. From underneath somebody was yelling “Oooowwww! Aaaaa! – Oooowwww Aaaaa!”.

Helen sprayed that pile for a while and finally the black flies and mosquitoes flew away. There was Megan and Helen was spraying the bug spray right in Megan’s face. Megan yelled, “YECHHH! – GLACK! – GLUBAHHH!.”

“Sorry” said Helen.

She ran further on into the woods and found another emormous pile of mosquitoes and blackflies. It was jumping up and down going “Oooowwww! Aaaaa! – Oooowwww Aaaaa!”.

“That” said Helen “must be my Daddy.”

Helen sprayed that pile for a while and finally the black flies and mosquitoes flew away. There was Daddy, and Helen was spraying the bug spray right in his face. Daddy yelled, “YECHHH! – GLACK! – GLUBAHHH!.”

“Sorry” said Helen.

And they all stood still and heard a sound like this: “Nnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”.

There were sixteen gazillion mosquitoes and black flies getting ready to come back, cause they were used to the bug spray

“Move it” yelled the Dad, and they ran really fast through the woods, across the road, across front yard, and into house.

And after breakfast they all came out wearing bug jackets and bug hats and went for a walk in the woods; because it was, after all, SPRINGTIME!

But, unfortunately, there are no hats or jackets or spray to keep away BEARS!!

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