When his sister sat down at the breakfast table Kevin said , “Gwaaaackkk!”; fell off his chair and rolled around underneath the table. His mother came running in and said, “What is the matter?”
“Smell!” said Kevin, “The Smell!”
The mom sniffed her way around the room and said, “Kevin, there is no bad smell. All I can smell is your sister’s perfume.”
“That’s it!” said Kevin, “It’s her vulture breath perfume! I can’t take it! Gwaaaaackkkk!”
“Ahhhhhhhhh!” yelled the sister, “I am going to kill Kevin!” and she started to chase Kevin around the table.
The mom grabbed Kevin and sat him down in a chair and then she said to the sister “Stop chasing your brother”
Then the mom looked at Kevin and said “Be Quiet! Just Eat!”
So Kevin was quiet until his 16 year old brother sat down
“Hair!” said Kevin.
“What?” said his brother.
“Hair!” said Kevin, “You are suddenly growing hair all over. I think you are going to be a gorilla.”
“Ahhhhhhhhh!” yelled the brother, “I am going to kill Kevin”; and he started to chase Kevin around the table.
The mom grabbed Kevin and sat him down and then she said to the brother, “don’t chase Kevin.” And to Kevin she said “Be Quiet! Just Eat!”
So Kevin was quiet until his father sat down and then he said “Nobody likes me. My brother says he wants to kill me and he chases me around the table. My sister says she wants to kill me and she chases me around the table. AND MOM DOES NOT DO ANYTHING!”
“Kevin” said the dad, “I heard you tell your sister that her perfume smelled like vulture breath.”
“It does smell like vulture breath.” said Kevin.
“And” said the dad, “I heard you tell your brother he was a hairy gorilla.”
“Well he is a hairy gorilla” said Kevin.
“And” said the dad, “I think that you should do like your mom said and BE QUIET AND JUST EAT!”
So Keven sat and was quiet and just ate and thought about all the wonderful things he could say at dinner.