Backstage, before the show, I thought about Victoria going to the fancy restaurant with her grandma.
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“Victoria, for your birthday I am taking you to the fancy restaurant at the Lord Beaverbrook Hotel.”
“Grandma, does it have Pizza?”
“No,”
“Does it have Hamburgers?”
“No.”
“Does it have Chicken Fingers?”
“No.”
“Well, I think it is a dump!”
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There I was, making up a story just 10 minutes before a show, making it up for Victoria, whose last name I did not even know. It turned out to be a good story. Here it is:
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VICTORIA’S LUNCH
“Victoria” said her grandmother “For my birthday present, I am going to take you out for lunch. We are going to go to the fancy restaurant at the Lord Beaverbrook Hotel.
“Wonderful!” said Victoria “Hamburgers!”
“NO” said her grandmother.
“Wonderful!” said Victoria “Pizza!”
“NO” said her grandmother. “Wonderful” said Victoria “Fried Chicken!”
“NO” said her grandmother “It’s a FANCY restaurant. A REALLY FANCY restaurant. You will love it.
“I have never heard of this FANCY Restaurant on TV” said Victoria “I bet it is a dump!”
“TV does not know everything. It is a wonderful restaurant and you will like it.” said Victoria’s grandmother.
So they went downtown to the FANCY RESTAURANT at the Lord Beaverbrooke Hotel. They walked all the way to the back so Victoria could look out at the river.
“Look!” said Victoria “Ducks! This restaurant has ducks! I have never been at a restaurant with ducks.”
“I SAID it was wonderful!” said her grandmother “The ducks live on the river.”
“A duck restaurant! This is really neat!” said Victoria.
And then a man came and said “Would you like our Fancy Restaurant, Fancy Lunch?”
“Yes” said Grandma.
“No” said Victoria.
“No?” said the man “Well what do you want?”
“I” said Victoria “Would like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”
“Ahhh” said the man “We do not have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”
“No peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?” said Victoria
“No” said the man.
“Look” said Victoria “Do you have bread?”
“Yes” said the man.
“Do you have jelly?”
“Yes” said the man.
“Do you have peanut butter?”
“Yes” said the man.
“Well stick them together” said Victoria “It’s called a sandwich.”
“No” said the man.
Victoria ran into the kitchen, grabbed the cook by the leg and said “Do you have bread?”
“Yes” said the cook.
“Do you have jelly?”
“Yes” said the cook.
“Do you have peanut butter?”
“Yes” said the cook.
“Well stick them together” said Victoria “It’s called a sandwich.”
“Oh All Right!” said the cook “We will make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
“Good” said Victoria “And please cut it into little pieces. It has to be cut into very little pieces with no crust.”
“OK” said the cook.
Victoria went back to the table.
The man came again and said “What would you like to drink?’
“Tea” said Victoria’s grandmother “I just love tea.”
“How about English Breakfast Tea?” said the man.
“Lovely” said Victoria’s grandmother.
“And I” said Victoria would like Moose Juice.
“MOOSE JUICE” yelled the man “What is MOOSE JUICE?”
“It is very easy to make Moose Juice” said Victoria “Just mix cola and ginger ale and root beer and orange soda and chocolate milk till it is the colour of a dead moose, and that is moose juice.”
“No” said the man.
“I want to see the cook” said Victoria.
“OH ALL RIGHT!” yelled the man “We will make you moose juice.”
So Victoria looked at the ducks and after a while the man brought her Moose Juice and peanut butter and jelly sandwich that was cut into little pieces. Even the crust was cut off.
“WOW!” said Victoria “This is perfect. Thank you very much.”
“You’re welcome” said the man.
Then Victoria opened the window and threw her sandwich to the ducks.
“AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” yelled the man.
“Thank You Grandma!” said Victoria “This is a wonderful restaurant.”
“Yes” said the grandma “Yes it is.”
Then the grandma called the waiter and said “Two more peanut butter sandwiches please.”
