09/15/99 …………..#1 (oral)
09/21/99 …………..#2 (to tape)
09/21/99 …………..#3
01/04/04 …………..#4
04/20/09 ————-#05
This is a story about A.J. at St. Joseph’s School, 147 Mill Street West, Acton.
A.J.’s Chocolate
“What would you like for lunch?” said A.J.’s mother.
A.J. said “I’d like some chocolate bars”.
“No” said the mother, “not chocolate bars. Chocolate bars are not good for you. They give you pimples and they rot out your teeth. They are all sugary and are junk food. What else would you like for lunch?”
“Well” said A.J., “How about bean sprouts?”
“Wonderful” said the mother, “bean sprouts are good food”.
“And” said A.J. “Carrot sticks”.
“Oh wonderful” said the mother, “Carrot sticks are wonderful food”.
“And nasty smelly yoghurt” said A.J.
“Yes” said the mother, “Nasty smelling yoghurt is wonderful food”.
“And fifteen chocolate bars” said A.J.
“No, no, no” said the mother, “you are going to throw out everything else and just eat the chocolate bars. You can’t have chocolate bars. Chocolate bars are no good for you. You can just have the bean sprouts and the carrot sticks and the yoghurt.”
So A.J. went to school with the bean sprouts and the carrot sticks and the yoghurt, and when he got to school the teacher stood up in front of the class and said “Now children, when you are in this school one thing you have to do is sell chocolate bars”.
And A.J. started sticking up his hand and waving it back and forth and the teacher said “And we will give everybody twenty chocolate bars to sell to their friends”.
And A.J. started jumping up and down on his desk and waving his hands and the teacher said “A.J. what is the matter? This is my chocolate bar speech. I give it every year. It’s a very good speech”.
“Well” said A.J. “My mother says chocolate bars are not good for you. They cause pimples on your face, they rot out your teeth and they are junk food and they are not good for you”.
“Good heavens” said the teacher, “you had better see the principal about that”.
So A.J. walked down to the principal and he said “Chocolate bars are no good for you. They give you pimples, they rot your teeth, they are just full of sugar and they are not good for you. My mother said so.”
“Hhhhuuuuummmm” said the Principal. “Yes … well … There may be SOME chocolate bars that are like that, but not OUR chocolate bars. OUR chocolate bars are certified by the Board of Education and I, your Principal, say to you that OUR chocolate bars are GOOD chocolate bars. They’re GOOD for kids, GOOD for grownups, GOOD for dogs, GOOD for cats, GOOD for everybody and especially GOOD for money. Sell them for your school”.
“Well” said A.J., “you’re the Principal. You must know what you are doing”.
“Yes” said the Principal.
So A.J. went back to the class and said “It’s okay teacher. The Principal said the chocolate bars are okay. I’ll take 200”.
“Two hundred?” said the teacher. “Are you sure you can sell 200 chocolate bars?”
“No problem” said A.J. “No problem at all”.
He went home with so many chocolate bars that he looked just like a pile of chocolate bars walking down the street. When he got home he knocked on the door and the mother opened the door and looked at all the chocolate bars and said “I don’t want any”. She shut the door.
A.J. Yelled, “MOM!” and the mother opened the door and said “A.J. where are you?”
“I’m underneath the chocolate bars” said A.J.
“Chocolate bars” said the mother. “Why did you buy all these chocolate bars? A.J. we can’t have all these chocolate bars.”
“No” said A.J.
“I didn’t BUY the chocolate bars.
I’m going to SELL the chocolate bars.
I am going to SELL them for school.
The Principal said There may be SOME chocolate bars that are no good, but not THESE chocolate bars. OUR chocolate bars are certified by the Board of Education and THE PRINCIPAL said to ME that OUR chocolate bars are GOOD chocolate bars. They’re GOOD for kids, GOOD for grownups, GOOD for dogs, GOOD for cats, GOOD for everybody and especially GOOD for money. Sell them for your school”
“Hhhhuuummmm” said the mother. “This sounds very strange”. “Can I have one?”
“Give me two dollars” said A.J.
So the mother gave him two dollars, ate one chocolate bar and said “A.J. that’s pretty good. I haven’t had a chocolate bar in a long time”.
She gave A.J. two more dollars and ate another chocolate bar.
She gave A.J. two more dollars and ate another chocolate bar.
She gave A.J. two more dollars and ate another chocolate bar.
She gave A.J. two more dollars and ate another chocolate bar.
She gave A.J. two more dollars and ate another chocolate bar.
And then the mother said “Oh A.J. I don’t feel very good. Are you sure that they are good chocolate bars?”
“Oh I’m absolutely sure” said A.J. “They’re GOOD for kids, GOOD for grownups, GOOD for dogs, GOOD for cats, GOOD for everybody, and especially GOOD for money!”
While his mother was deciding weather to be sick or not, A. J. took the rest of the chocolate bars and walked down the street to the house where the man had a big ugly dog that ate everything. He knocked on the door, the big dog came out and barked “WWWWOOOOWWWW”.
He looked at the chocolate bars and ate them up.
A man came running out and said “A.J. A.J. Are you okay? I didn’t know you were out here by yourself. Did my dog bite you? Did my dog kill you. Are you alright? If my dog eats one more kid I might have to keep him on a leash!”
“I’m alright, said A.J. “Your dog just ate my 194 chocolate bars”.
Then the dog made a funny noise, kind of like a burp and then that dog got fatter and fatter and fatter and fatter till it rolled off down the street.
“Good heavens” said the man, “what kind of chocolate bars were they? They made my dog totally fat.”
“No” said A.J., not these chocolate bars. That was something else the dog ate. These chocolate bars are GOOD for kids, GOOD for grownups, GOOD for dogs, GOOD for cats, GOOD for everybody; and especially GOOD for money. These chocolate bars are certified by the Board of Education. My Principal says they are okay and you have to pay me because your dog ate them, and how much is 2 x 194?”
“2 x 194 is 388”, said the man.
“And you owe me $388”, said A. J.
So the man gave A. J. $388.00.
“Thank you very much” said A.J.
The next day he went to school and gave the teacher $400.
“Wow” said the teacher, “you sold all your chocolate bars so fast, in the first day. How did you do that?”
“Look out the window”, said A.J.
“Good heavens” said the teacher, “there is a big fat dog rolling by”.
“And that’s how I did it” said A.J.
And A.J. said, “Teacher, I need 200 more chocolate bars!”
“How are you going to sell 200 more chocolate bars?” asked the teacher.
“Well” said A.J., “I know a man with a big nasty cat that eats everything.”
© 1999 – Bob Munsch Enterprises Limited